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Random rant about me & weight loss

I just had to get this out of my system & knew if I put it here, it’d do the most good.

My question is…what kind of fucking person has to pull over on the side of the road & cry because she has to eat home cooked food, instead of being able to get pizza & hot wings?  I think I’ve hit rock bottom & I’m not sure how the hell to get past it because right now…all the trying & effort & monitoring what I eat & trying to exercise…it just makes me more & more depressed every single time I have to do it.  I mean when  a big portion of your brain would rather just not eat since it can’t have what it wants…even tho it knows how bad what it wants is…how the hell do you get past that or work with it?  I’m tired of the frustration & disgust & irritation & some days just want to face dive into every bad thing I can think of & say fuck it all at least I’ll die happy…even tho I know I won’t because I’ll be physically miserable.  But this way I’m mentally & emotionally worn down & miserable so I’m damned if I do & damned if I don’t.  I’m either disgusted & hate everything, or physically miserable because I hurt & can’t breathe & can’t move.

Anyway…I think I’m done so thanks for listening anyone who bothers to read this & hugs to all of you for sticking with me thru everything.


8 thoughts on “Random rant about me & weight loss

  1. Would you like for me to cry with you as a doctor with probably the worst bedside manner ever looks you straight in the eyes and tells you that you are fat. And due to a previous medical condition there is nothing she can do for you until you become non fat and then you won’t need her. She says to stop eating anything and everything I eat and eat off the ground. It’s healthier for me. You know me…you know how hard that is. You cry because you can’t have pizza and I cry because its all we eat in this house. What a pair the two of us make.

    Liked by 1 person

    • & um do we want to go into in public just what the fuck I’d tell the cunt? mwahahahahahaa because there is a difference between saying you’re fat but hell’s bells anybody ever tell me that shit line about eating off the ground…well…you know & I know that they would be with my big old fat ass sitting on their back for good measure *laughs*


  2. You’re preaching to the choir, chick. I have type 2 diabetes, so I have to watch every morsel of food that goes in my mouth. My doctor said that if I lose another 10 pounds, then she’ll take me off the Metformin. It’s misery. And then the exercising…just, no. I HATE exercising! Hang in there, Jen. You are totally within your rights to pull over and cry because the struggle is real. I’ve cried a few times myself…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sending you hugs. Food is a wicked battle. It is our friend and our enemy. I fight it every day. the want to bury my feelings in food and my utter disgust with myself for thinking food is my friend. It is not something we can live without. All i know is the battle of balance. Eat the damn pizza but balance it with a salad instead of those darn wings. Deal with your brain by taking a walk and cranking up the music. What ever conversation you must have with yourself. We will continue this battle together until we win or at least stop beating ourselves up over every bite.

    Liked by 1 person

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