I’ve been doing some more thinking this week *laughs* scary I know but there it is. And I’ve come up with a few things I kind of want to talk about.
First of….how do you know whether you’re dependent on someone, or if it’s really love? That question is hard to answer because there’s some many different types of love & even more, each person has their own version of what love feels or is. For me…it’s caring about someone no matter what…as unconditionally as you can love another person & wanting them to be happy just to know they’re happy, not because you’re going to get something out of it. I mean that’s the bare basics but…love is about giving & doing your best to make the 1 you love feel happy & loved & cared about & adored & valued. If you can give that to another person, chances are you’ll find the same without even trying to find it because that kind of love…not friends, not lust, not family but love between 2 people…you never know when it’s going to hit or with who or how. All we can do is hope we are able to recognize it before we lose it.
On the flipside, dependence is more out of fear…fear of being left, of being alone, or is more out of what you can get from someone else. It’s more about you than them & in love…they are equally important…with dependence they’re not.
when do you know it’s love & not still that first hot blush of a new relationship? This 1 I’m not so sure about but….for me…I think if you just want to be with them or feel them. When snuggling or just holding hands or being held, is as important or more important than getting them into the sack. When just being close to them or with them is better than anything else. I’m not saying even then you won’t want sex because well yeah der if it’s a good relationship that should definitely be there but…it won’t be the only way to show affection like it can often be early on. When the flirting itself is as good or better than where it will eventually get you.
For me…all I can do is hope that the person I love will be able to tell I do even when I don’t say it…since hopefully I show them every time I’m with them & even when I’m not just how much they mean to me & how special they are & that I will be there for them even when it’s painful & difficult because…isn’t that what love is?