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Just some thoughts I’ve been having

Over the last couple of weeks, I have come to realize something.  My little side…the awkward, shy, silly, innocent & naive yet curious & just learning to deal with her hormones (since she’s preteen) bundle of silliness…is in charge of pretty much my whole life.  She’s the 1 who helped me realize that fear is what drives most of my life so I could start working on dealing with that & maybe living the life I would like to have…or at least 1 I was more happy than content with.  She’s also the 1 who lately has been making sure I don’t get into any stupid or damaging relationships because if a man gives her no attention or ignores her…he ain’t getting none of the rest of me either because she will make damned sure of it.  She is the reason I feel for the first time in a while I’m worth doing this & that I have to do this even when it sucks shit & all I wanna do is stuff my face till the pain & fear goes away & she refuses to let me do it & as much as it pisses me off & frustrates me I’m grateful that some part of me finally has stepped up & taken control in a good way & is making me be the woman that those who know me best have always known I could be.

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