Was just sitting here looking at my tumblr as I was going thru it & realized that I think I’ve gotten a bit lost over the last couple of months. And with my closest friends both having internet/computer issues the last few days, it’s made me realize just how much so.
I’ve been on SL & fetlife & even Tumblr trying to meet new people but it seems the more new people I meet, the more I want to just stay in my head & never come out. I’m well aware that part of it is my fault as I tend to act before I think & let my naughty bits lead me more than I should but is it wrong of me to want someone who wouldn’t take advantage of that fact…especially after i told them I’m prone to doing that & that it’s what always messes things up…if things ever make it past my awkward shy self that is. I guess I could always consider that 1 of the breaking points but call me impatient or whatever but I hate wasting the time & effort to get to that point then finding out that they’re not as interested in me being their sub as they are about getting me off or getting in my pants. I’m to the point where I’d rather spend the rest of the life alone with the characters in my writing than take the chance with another man. Especially since I know what I want & seem to have no real clue how to find it…or maybe not the patience. *laughs* sometimes having social anxiety just sucks.
Anyway…I guess I’m done with my rant. *laughs* This little kitten is still waiting for her collar & someone to make her his so I guess…I’ll stay in my head a bit more then try it yet again…see if maybe I can get it right or strike it lucky again this time. *sighs*