Why can’t people decide how they feel about me or what they want from me? Why do they have to go back & forth & do everything they can to get me in as deep as they can then run away when it starts looking like I might want them to get in deep with me too? Am I honestly that scary that people have to guard themselves from me? Anymore I don’t know how I feel. In the same conversation it can go from feeling cared about to being scared to being blissfully satisfied to be on the verge of crying to being content to being miserable. I never know whether I’m coming or going & I absolutely hate it. I know I’ve ranted about some of this before but I’m not sure I’ve done it all in 1 post. If they don’t like me or are scared about something or feel like it’s too much or i’m pressuring them into anything…just say something…don’t act all twitchy & avoid me. And if you said something to me at the spur of the moment & realize later you went too far…just tell me. I’d rather you tell me & me be a little disappointed than to be truly hurt because I’m being avoided. Because all I want from people is for them to be as upfront about everything as I try to be. Yes I know it may take a bit of time to figure it out but there’s taking a bit of time & flat out avoiding & even I know the difference. If you really need it…just tell me you need a day or 2 to think about things…please. That’s all I ask for. I’m a woman, & i have feelings & a heart & for the first time in my life they are true & solid & good so don’t punish me for finally being able to open myself up & feel with no fears or worries.