I have an assignment to do, & I’m going to do it the best I can. *laughs* It’s just…I’m not really sure just what to say here. I’m supposed to list 9 things that I enjoy doing in a submissive manner but instead, I think I’ll have better luck listing 9 things I do that make me feel submissive.
Kneeling – When I kneel for My Master is definitely a time when I feel submissive. There’s just something about kneeling directly in front of him that makes me feel completely his.
Being naked or topless – There is something about exposing myself that makes me feel that way as well. Knowing that someone can take advantage of me at any time…you can’t help but to feel owned.
being bound – having no power to move or having my movements restricted always makes me feel submissive & not in control
writing my journal/here on this blog – keeping record of what I do day to do, & exposing some of my innermost thoughts & feelings makes me feel submissive as well
taking pictures – doing my tasks…any & all of them for the day…makes me feel that way because I know that completing them pleases him so I’m serving my purpose
Hearing his voice – since i rarely get to, the few occasions I get to make me instantly melt & completely his…giving myself as completely as I can
My collar – everytime I see it I remember than I am owned & that I submitted to him freely & happily & nothing makes me feel more submissive than that
the phrase My Master – just saying it reminds me that I’m his wanton little kitteh
And last but not least the mmmmm after I’ve done well – nothing makes me feel more like I’ve done my job & served him well as that does.
There’s my list for what it’s worth. *chuckles* Thanks everyone for following me & enjoy yourself till next time!
Why is it that the 1 thing I want & feel like I need right now more than anything…I can’t get. I need love. Not the kind you can get from your family or your friends or your pets or even your kids…but from someone who cares for you because you’re you…not because you’re family or their owner or there’s years of history between the 2 of you. What I need right now…is to feel like someone cares enough about me to put me first…or at least right at the top 3 of the list…to want to be with me as much as I want to be with them & not even in a clingy way because I don’t mean every second of every day…but just a few precious minutes…just the 2 of you alone together even if it’s just snuggled up together with no 1 else around. And that is something you can’t get from anywhere else except someone you care a lot about.
I need that strength that comes from knowing someone is there for you & honestly cares & worries about what happens to you. And not as a friend…as more. I adore my friends…don’t get me wrong…but this time…it’s more than even they can handle. I even like cuddles & all, but what I’m needing is something that much more. I need to feel like I’m treasured & valued. Caring & love can be so closely interwoven that you can’t always tell the difference between 1 or the other. And that…whichever it is…is what I need to feel most of all. Now more than I’ve needed anything in a long time. If I could just have that, I’d be able to make thru everything I’m having to deal with with very few issues whatsoever. To feel like someone is truly devoted to me…values me being in his life…treasures every moment as much as I do…that…would be heaven to me.
Ok…this is my first assignment topic so lets see how this goes. I’ll admit, when I started back on SL back in early November of last year, for the first couple of months I spent alot of time frequenting a few forced sex areas/rlv dungons, tho I did make sure to have my rlv set to ask me before someone could grab me. For me, at that point, it was an easy way to doing some emoting…practice my rping & such. But then I got kind of bored with it because most of the people I ran into in the sims I went to, they just weren’t that good & came up with the same stories over & over if they even bothered with a story. Plus at the time I was in 2 relationships that were going very well so I didn’t need any extra attention…I had more than enough to divide my time between.
Lately tho, I’ve been playing around with the idea of forced rp again. I even went so far as to buy a skirt that goes along with that, tho the only time I wore it not a single thing happened…too many victims & not enough trackers I’m figuring. Plus, I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly standing on street corners waiting to be kidnapped, either. I’m not sure why I like the idea of it but I will admit…it’s 1 of the reasons why I’ve become more submissive. I like not having to be the 1 to make the decisions, to let someone else control at least certain aspects of my life, to know that by letting them have more control, I’m pleasing both of us especially when I do it right.
I guess that feeling of being able to give up control is why I like the forced rp…because it’s in a short, controlled session, & then back to business as usual. And I’ll admit…i can be sadistic so I like fighting back because even in forced rp I am not an innocent, whiny little victim. So for me, I do it to escape from reality…to be able to try & be my own hero but also not have to pay afterwards once I do fail & the aggressor gets what he wants. This is roleplaying after all…not real life. The whole point is to be something you’re not…& the last thing I am is a victim of any sort.
This is just going to be what it is. I had the inspiration to write this earlier & have thought about it off & on all day & said to hell with my doubts & am going to write it & if anyone doesn’t like it they can kiss my nonrosy red ass. *laughs*
First off…my best friend. I love you & cannot imagine a life without you in it. We don’t always see eye to eye, probably more frequently than either of us realize think the other is a raving lunatic or idiot, but you still put up with me. You let me ramble & whine & complain & cry & bitch no matter what’s going on in your life & I thank you for it. Never ever feel like you can’t talk to me about something because I promise I’ll listen…even if I just virtually nod my head as you vent or whine or cry. Thank you for almost 24 years of being there for me…I wish there was something I could do to show you how much it means to me so all I can do is hope you read this & know.
And secondly…to another person who has made a huge impact in my life…My Master. I am a better person for having met him & I can’t thank him enough for that. For the first time in my life I’m comfortable with myself as a woman…all facets of her. The feminine side, the strong side, the flirty side…even the moody side…because of him I can handle anything that crosses my path because I know he’s there & will help me with anything I need help with. And that fact alone makes it easier to face so much…just knowing he’s there…it does wonders. He works with me, listens to my opinions & ideas & does what he can to make sure we’re both being pleased, treats me amazingly, doesn’t make me feel like I’m anything less than his wanton kitten & favorite pet & what else could I possibly ask for from him? I am his, completely, & not only can I not imagine submitting to anyone else…I can’t imagine wanting to as long as I’m his.
I know it’s been a very long while since I posted but I’ve been doing alot of thinking since my last post. And honestly haven’t figured out anything I needed to figure out, except for the fact that I know I need to do something about it all. just wanted to let everyone know that I was still alive & still here just making my brain work overtime thinking. *chuckles*