Home » General » As I’m sitting here waiting…

As I’m sitting here waiting…

I’m downloading WoW right now on the laptop for my son since that was his birthday present, & since it is downloading…i can’t do much else which means I’ve been catching up on my TV & thinking…probably way too much for my own good but then what’s new right?  Seems to be 1 of my favorite pastimes anymore.  It started with a couple of talks I’ve had with my supervisor lately.  I realized I’ve come a long way in the last 4-6 weeks…alot longer than I’d realized till he helped me see just how far I’d come.  Plus I’ve been talking to a friend of mine alot & he’s been doing his part to help me figure things out as well.  But sitting here today…having nothing to keep my occupied…I realized that I think my whole problem the last few days is that I’m unsure…about everything.  About my life, the way it’s going, about the people in it, my willpower & strength, my feelings…I’m unsure about so much right now it’s making me cranky & whiny & it’s getting to the point where i’m either going to get needy & clingy, or just start close myself off.  I hate having this need to understand everything…have it all in black & white because I know that most of what is driving me the most nuts…there is no black & white so there’s no way to know.  And that knowledge just seems to make things worse.I would give just about anything to figure out what’s going on but since I can’t…all I can do right now is try to hold on till my life feels more stable & less iffy & unsure & hope I don’t do anything stupid in the meantime.  Which…speaking of…I got a big surprise on the way home today.  I climbed into the truck & got almost a block home before I realized I still had my coat on.  Which means that even tho the scale says I’ve gained & I feel all icky…I had to’ve lost some weight so woot me.  The 1 good thing about today so far so I can just hope I can keep it going. *chuckles*

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