I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’ve been wrong all this time I’ve been thinking I wanted a Dom or a Master. Maybe all I need is a dominant man who treats me like a treasure…something to value & hold dear…a thing of beauty even if only to him…but still as a woman…another human being with feelings & needs & desires & wants the same as anyone else. Maybe I’m just wanting the impossible but over the last few days, some things have come to light that have made me reconsider what I really need to be happy.
I do love the feeling I get when i am completely in the submissive zone. I’m just afraid it comes with too many other strings or maybe I was just too naive & blind to see them before now. Or maybe i’m just too dominant even when being submissive to do things that a normal submissive or slave wouldn’t even think twice about. or maybe it’s because to me…submission is more in the mind & behavior…than in any external trappings. To me…being someone’s sub…being his…is giving all I have to give to them. Not just my body but my mind, my soul, & eventually my heart as well…to be the woman he should care about who wants nothing more than for me to be as happy as I make. I am something that most men will never have…someone who devotes themselves to him, takes care of him, wants the best for him, & will do whatever she can to please him & makes sure he is happy, & all she wants in return from him is the same trust & respect & depth of feeling she has for him.
That is what it means to me to be submissive to me. I mean the sex can be completely amazing but…it’s not everything…it’s just a bonus. To want to be theirs…either because he by virtue of who he is made me want to serve or because being his is all I can imagine being…that is what matters to me. All I can do is do what I can to please them & hope to make few mistakes or disappoint somehow. Because to me..submission is more a state of mind…of being just the way i was meant to be…& anything else is just useless crap & i’d hate to cheat any of us by ever thinking anything different.